Wednesday, December 30, 2015

New Priority

It’s been almost a full year since I have posted anything on here or created art for that matter. I’ve been concentrating on myself and my humanity. Fine tuning all those broken or dysfunctional parts to make my journey in life more productive and empowering for my marriage , my children and, of course, myself. How sick and selfish I was in the past letting my personality get tangled up in melodramatic imagination and false perceptions of myself and the world around me. What a lie I lived for so many years and how close I came to disaster. One of the biggest changes in the last year was the elimination of Alcohol from my diet. Not only did that effect my health dramatically it also changed my awareness of the world around me, and the people I love. I was much more able to appreciate the little things I had been missing for years. One amazing thing I experienced was the change in the bond with my daughter. I spend part of every morning watching cartoons and cuddling with my kids for a couple of hours. At about four or five weeks of not drinking at all I took the same position cuddling with my kids and I took a good hard look into my daughters eye, and she looks back for the first time. Prior to this I felt that her possible developmental issue was the reason for her distant stare and her lack of connection. But little did I know she had been there the entire time. It was me that lacked the connection. What a great journey I had with her that day. We sat there staring at each other, playing and laughing. This is what people mean by clarity. All I can hope for is more of these perfect experiences, jumping back into the production of my art and pushing forward toward a great life…..5…..

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